My universe feels quite out of control at the moment. I woke up this morning, disoriented, and was accosted by an overwhelming, suffocating "to-do" list. Not a big deal, usually, because, yeah, that's what being a mom, wife, and domestic goddess entails. However, I'm mentally vulnerable these days - in the sense that I don't quite have a handle on my family's daily schedule, and keeping track of the chaos is difficult and draining.
Appointments come up, soccer practices are at different times than usual, this child has a meeting or that child has a group activity, etc. etc. etc. etc. If we're lucky, all six of us eat dinner together once a week. And that discomfits me. A lot. Also, with a VERY active teenage foreign exchange student in the house, we've begun to feel as if we're a waystation - just food and bed providers.
And I know, many of you right-minded folks out there reading this have the answer: prioritize, cut back on activities. In theory, this is a wonderfully easy idea to advocate, but execution is more complicated. That execution is the very struggle my husband and I are currently undertaking: to provide plenty of chance for interaction, involvement, and activity...but not at the risk of family sanity. While we want our children to participate, we aren't willing to become slaves to it (the latest epiphany).
That brings me to a really pressing question: what is it exactly that we (our family) are doing for each other? I cook, taxi, and keep the house clean. Brent earns the money, maintains the house, and assists in all other parenting/household tasks. And what contributions are the children making to our household? That is the million-dollar question. The two million dollar question is: what exactly do I expect out of them in regards to being a member of my house?
The three million dollar question: what do I do for others around me? If what Dyer says is true, that serving others gives you purpose...well, then it's probably no wonder I feel a bit bereft these days.