With any concept, theme, idea - it hardly ever happens that the entire thing is accepted. Parts of the idea or concept are feasible, while others are questioned or discarded. And, as the late singer Ricky Nelson said, "you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."
With Dr. Wayne Dyer's book 10 Secrets to Inner Peace and Success, Brent and I are finding this particular tenet to be true. Some of the secrets speak to us more ardently, while others we have a hard time grasping.
Today's secret - There Are No Justified Resentments - is one that jumped out, screaming for attention, at both of us.
You only need to be a conscious mind in this world for ten minutes to understand how the Blame Game works. The media, especially, has made the most of victimhood. Injustices are always someone else's fault. Fingers are pointed, litigations are drawn out, and people just
never get over it.
But, on a smaller scale, Dyer says, we carry around all these injuries: who's wronged or offended us. And sometimes we never get over it! And Dyer then makes a great point, "Any time you're filled with resentment, you're turning the controls of your emotional life over to others."
We let others be in charge of how we feel. If instead, we accept it, we own it (regardless of who's fault it is), then we have the power to get rid of it. But, if we wait for the person who hurt us to rectify the offense, we're totally dependent on someone else ... if and when they ever make reparations.
This is simple, but monumental.
Other highlights from this section:
- Take responsibility for your part in things. This was a mulling point for Brent and I...how often we've thought of what the other person did to us, but hardly ever do we consider the role we played in the situation.
- Be kind rather than be right. Wowee, was this a big 'un. I know I certainly have that "I've got to fight for it" mindset at times. But what's so great about being right? Wait - let me rephrase that - what's so great about others knowing we're right?
- Try to respond with love, kindness, and peace.
- Don't waste energy being offended or put out. Let things happen as they do, and then let them go.
- Thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that disenpower.
And as I head over to the university today for my classes, I will keep this in mind. :)