19 March 2008

Chocolate Jesus

Hmmm...there are so many options. I've had a lot on my mind lately, like...

1. Seeking medical attention
2. Return to Paganism
3. Easter gifts and philosophy
4. Home remodeling
5. Energy draining of pointless committees
6. How "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!" is, in fact, a thinly disguised critique of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich.

Well, Chuck, I feel like seeing what's behind Door Number Three. Easter.

OK, you all know me, and how hard it can be for me to celebrate Christian holidays without a vomitous feeling in the back of my throat at the hypocrisy of it all. You all know that I think it's a complete farce that the entire month of December (practically) consists of annoying radio jingles, insane toy advertising, holiday special reruns, potlucks, and fattening sugar cookies - all in the name of celebrating a "man" whose birthday was actually in the spring...nowhere near December 25th.

And on that special day, I'm supposed to forget all the aforementioned items and focus on the "reason for the season". Whatever that is.

Now before I'm labeled a Grinch, I'd like to state that I do not wish to abolish Christmas. Personally, I love Christmas music and Christmas food. I like shopping and Santa and wrapping presents. I concur in my heart of hearts with the Christmas theory of being generous and giving. But, I abhor the veneer of self-righteous of religious fanatics who wave their propaganda at me, asking me to believe in a lie (the previously mentioned "Jesus Came on a Midnight Clear).

You, who know me so well, will know that I can't participate in such hypocrisy without losing my self-respect. And wanting to bake my head in the nearest microwave oven.

And now, Easter. To me, this is the time of the year when we all should be celebrating THE EARTH. The ancients had it right when they took part in festivals welcoming back the Sun God (whom, by the way, is ageless, so there are no raging debates about his birthday). For the Greeks, the Goddess of Agriculture's daughter is returning from Hades...the weather is getting warmer, crocuses are budding, the sun is brighter...I mean, spring is in the air. I feel that happy burst of life that impels me to open my windows, run outside, and listen to the birds in their nests. I mean, it's a time of rebirth and renewal.

It's an uplifting time for me. I'm not really in the mood for a macabre story about the darkness that lurks in the heart of man. You know of whom I speak. Pontius Pilate and his band of nail-drivers. Not to mention Judas, the champion of backstabbers the world over.

But, you know, whatever.

And now, to my real point. We are not getting the kids Easter gifts this year. We've been sporadic about it in the past, and have decided to chuck the whole thing altogether. My husband's reasoning is that the kids receive too many gifts and goodies anyway, so it won't hurt them to miss Easter. Frankly, I'm glad because that means I won't have to buy them damned chocolate bunnies and Cadbury creme eggs that I would just end up scarfing myself anyway. I also won't have to explain the connection between Easter eggs and chocolate and Jesus dying on the cross (Although, this potentially could be cleared up if all candy/chocolate companies began to manufacture Chocolate Jesuses).

But most of all, I'm glad that we've jointly decided to not fall victim to parental peer pressure of getting gifts in commemoration of a holiday that, in general, we're pretty lukewarm about.

Instead, we'll probably just hang out as a family and balance eggs on their ends on Friday (the equinox...seriously, you can really do that). Now, that's something tangible I can celebrate. Balancing eggs, balancing Earth, balancing life...a return to better times.

05 March 2008

Whoa - Been Awhile Since A Day Like This...

First off, my apologies to anyone who might have been expecting great things out of me today/tonight - it's just not going to happen.

So, OK. I live in middle America. I have three kids, a dog, and a minivan. I work at a high school. Most of my days are pretty even and noneventful - and most of the time, I'm OK with that. Every now and then I shake things up by taking an exotic European vacation, buying leather furniture, or fighting with my husband.

But most of the time, my days continue pretty much according to my plan, and I am in control of the events of those days...most of the time. Most nights I fall asleep thinking, "Yeah, pretty good day."

Today was NOT one of those days. Today was one of those days where I thought WTF? Why is the universe taking a crap on my head?

Brent left this morning for MN. He goes there about once a month to check in at work. So, I'm in charge of the morning routine. No problem. Now. Because of all the snow days we've had, the school has adopted a new school day schedule. We will start classes ten minutes earlier and extend the day fifteen minutes later. I assumed this changeroo also meant an earlier bus time for all elementary kids. Seems logical, yes? So, I bring my kids to their bus stop ten minutes earlier than usual...no bus. Either bus is gone or bus hasn't come yet. Either way, I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Therefore, I run the kids out to the school. I am now late for work, and will stress at the "rushed" feeling I will experience as I get ready for my day.

Eventually, the day begins, and things get much better. I am starting "The Odyssey" today - I am very excited to be doing my job.

Shortly after lunch, I get a call from the elementary school. Kirby has a fever. She had strep about two weeks ago, and since then, this pesky little fever has persisted off and on. I hurriedly call our school's secretary who gets a sub to me as fast as she can. Now I'm trying to teach a class, while get my things together for the sub who's coming in to cover my last two periods of the day. Again, I feel rushed and stressed.

Soon, I'm leaving the building, heading for the elementary. On the way, I call the doctor's office and try to schedule something for Kirby. Turns out the only thing they have available is "work in", meaning they'll get to me when they can. Humph.

Crap, I just totally hit the wall. That means I will crash on my pillow in about five minutes.

Gotta go fast now. Pick up Kirby, relax at home for a little bit, venture back out to elem. to pick up Spencer (which is a whole other madcap adventure), pick up Elliot at daycare, drive to doctor's office. We sit for about twenty minutes when it dawns on me that there are A LOT of sick people in the office right now and very few of them are scheduled appointments. Which means they're like me - work ins. Greeeeeeat. I happen to overhear a receptionist complain that there are currently seventeen work ins. Knowing that I just walked in minutes ago, I realize my daughter is towards the bottom of that pile.

Eventually, I get up and leave. I do not want to fight a two-hour wait in a waiting room with three cranky, tired, and, pretty soon, hungry kids. I'll just pump Kirby full of Tylenol and Sprite and she how she feels in the morning.

One good thing is that my parents call me and say to bring the kids over because they've bought KFC for dinner. Yummy. So we eat, then I head off to play auditions (I'm co-directing the latest community theater play). On the drive over, I decide to go ahead and get a sub for tomorrow, because I am just sick of this come-and-go fever/sickness that Kirby has been experiencing. She needs to see a doc, and so we'll go tomorrow.

Problem with a sub is...juggling schedules and figuring out what to do when I'm not going to be there. I gotta keep is easy for the sub. And frankly, nobody explains it better than I.

Ooooh, bedtime. Battery power has nearly expired. Am running on reserve. Anyway, crappy day. Going to bed. New day tomorrow.

Hope you havee ljdlfgjpojlkdfjgljlkjgzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...