Lately, I've been feeling a bit like a piece of river driftwood, caught up in a force beyond my control, being carried along without regard to any kind of purpose. Aimless, if you will. And I suppose some would find a sort of freedom in that driftlessness...to 'go with the flow', as it were. But not me. I feel lost, at loose ends, undirected...and I don't like it.
The first place I go to when I need answers or help is my public library. Books rarely let me down in my search for knowledge and enlightenment. As I wandered the aisles, a small selection of Wayne Dyer books caught my eye. A friend of mine (her blog here) is a fan of his, so I picked up a tome called Dr. Wayne Dyer's 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.
Success and Inner Peace - two things I certainly could use a bit more of.
Last night, my husband and I started reading the book together, taking just one "secret" at a time. I took some notes in my personal journal, but I thought I'd summarize and synthesize those thoughts here for you...not only as an FYI for you, but a reinforcer for myself as well. My challenge over the next ten days is to read/summarize/synthesize those ten secrets here at WYWH. Maybe I will find the spiritual "guide" I think I've been missing.
Secret #1: Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.
At first, this sounds great. And easy too. But considering all the conditioning and "baggage" I come with...letting go is easier said than done. Out of Dyer's dialogue regarding this secret, I've provided my mix of insights and highlights below.
1. Revel in the magic of the everyday workings of the universe. The sun shines, trees bloom, people smile, my body works - all of those things are miracles, really. Recognize the amazing awe that comes with living on this planet.
2. Resist being a pessimist. Dyer makes an outstanding point - the universe is limitless, so how can we claim to know everything? We can't - we hardly know anything compared with what there is to know. Being cynical goes hand in hand with thinking we know everything.
3. Whatever your mind is filled with (doubt, peace, anger, positivity) is what will manifest in your actions.
4. Let go of your physical ego/self. This was a critical point for me. So much of who I am is wrapped up in my physical being: how much weight I've lost, what size clothes I wear, how many gray hairs I can count, etc. And that is only a fraction of me!
5. Detach from outcomes. It's okay to desire and dream, but keep yourself separate from the outcome. Practice "what will be, will be". I was strongly reminded of Max Ehrmann's
"Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
6. Let things come and go as it will. Let thoughts arise and then let them go. Holding on to them, developing an emotion to go with them creates attachment.
7. Love people for who they are, not for what you think they should be. This particular point resonated with my husband.
8. Perhaps what I felt to be the key idea of Dyer's first secret: "Never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to anything, any place, or any person."
Obviously, reading the chapter and writing some notes on it are a far cry from implementation into daily life. But, it's an awareness and it's a start.
10 April 2012
08 April 2012
An Extraordinary Easter
I honestly can't remember the last Easter I had that was so terribly satisfying as today's.
Does that sound sacreligious at all? I'm sure it does. And it'll sound even moreso when I mentioned this particular Sunday did not involve Jesus Christ at all.
The day began for me at 6:40 a.m....when I woke up (the first time). Usually, once I wake, I'm up for the day. But, today, I managed to fall back asleep until 9:00 a.m...arising *after* my husband for the first time in A LONG time. With me just waking up, the foreign exchange student still in bed, and everyone else still in their pajamas - and with our church's Easter service beginning at 9:30, it's obvious we won't be attending it today.
So, Plan B.
After a trip to the grocery store for the week, we packed a picnic lunch and headed off to the park. Once we'd feasted on cheese, summer sausage, crackers, fruit and carrots, Brent and I hid the plastic Easter eggs we'd brought with us (filled with money and jelly beans). Then, we watched as the kids (even the 15-year-old South Korean on his first Easter egg hunt ever) scampered in the sunshine to collect their eggs.
Then, it was time to return home and tackle some of the yardwork chores that have been piling up the last few months. The kids were resistant at first, but they soon were helping out with the raking of many, many layers of fallen leaves, sawing of dead, in-the-way branches, and toting the brush to the truck. After two hours, I could notice a definite improvement in the way our yard looks!
While my daughter worked on a school project, the boys (including Brent) sat down to play a board game while I did my most favorite thing - work in the kitchen. I spent an hour and a half preparing this meal:
And, because I had the spare time:
My heart, head, and stomach are content and peaceful tonight. Bright blessings to you all!
Does that sound sacreligious at all? I'm sure it does. And it'll sound even moreso when I mentioned this particular Sunday did not involve Jesus Christ at all.
The day began for me at 6:40 a.m....when I woke up (the first time). Usually, once I wake, I'm up for the day. But, today, I managed to fall back asleep until 9:00 a.m...arising *after* my husband for the first time in A LONG time. With me just waking up, the foreign exchange student still in bed, and everyone else still in their pajamas - and with our church's Easter service beginning at 9:30, it's obvious we won't be attending it today.
So, Plan B.
After a trip to the grocery store for the week, we packed a picnic lunch and headed off to the park. Once we'd feasted on cheese, summer sausage, crackers, fruit and carrots, Brent and I hid the plastic Easter eggs we'd brought with us (filled with money and jelly beans). Then, we watched as the kids (even the 15-year-old South Korean on his first Easter egg hunt ever) scampered in the sunshine to collect their eggs.
Then, it was time to return home and tackle some of the yardwork chores that have been piling up the last few months. The kids were resistant at first, but they soon were helping out with the raking of many, many layers of fallen leaves, sawing of dead, in-the-way branches, and toting the brush to the truck. After two hours, I could notice a definite improvement in the way our yard looks!
While my daughter worked on a school project, the boys (including Brent) sat down to play a board game while I did my most favorite thing - work in the kitchen. I spent an hour and a half preparing this meal:
 |
| Fresh sourdough bread, green beans amandine, apricot-glazed ham, mashed potatoes |
And, because I had the spare time:
 |
| Zucchini cake with a light vanilla glaze |
My heart, head, and stomach are content and peaceful tonight. Bright blessings to you all!
02 April 2012
Abnormal Fear?
I went to my first-ever chiropractic appointment today.
This is not earth-shaking news. Hundreds of thousands of people visit one every day. So, why was I apprehensive?
Two reasons.
1. I deliberated on whether or not I should go for some time. At worst, I imagined the doctor informing me that nothing at all wrong was with me and I should instead think about a psychiatrist visit. I am not debilitated, and I am not in pain for even a major portion of the day. It's a dull, deep, niggling type ache in my neck, shoulders, and mid-back. It's really nothing I can complain much about, especially when I am a daily witness to people with conditions and injuries far more serious than mine.
But, in general, I'm tired of feeling old.
2. No, I am not on any kind of medication for my discomfort. I do not take over-the-counter painkillers for the pain. Because I have no desire to become dependent on foreign chemicals to feel healthy. Concurrently, I don't want to become dependent on a chiropractor to feel better. I'm worried about becoming "addicted".
This all is just a damn, stupid reminder that I'm getting older. I haven't come to terms with it yet.
This is not earth-shaking news. Hundreds of thousands of people visit one every day. So, why was I apprehensive?
Two reasons.
1. I deliberated on whether or not I should go for some time. At worst, I imagined the doctor informing me that nothing at all wrong was with me and I should instead think about a psychiatrist visit. I am not debilitated, and I am not in pain for even a major portion of the day. It's a dull, deep, niggling type ache in my neck, shoulders, and mid-back. It's really nothing I can complain much about, especially when I am a daily witness to people with conditions and injuries far more serious than mine.
But, in general, I'm tired of feeling old.
2. No, I am not on any kind of medication for my discomfort. I do not take over-the-counter painkillers for the pain. Because I have no desire to become dependent on foreign chemicals to feel healthy. Concurrently, I don't want to become dependent on a chiropractor to feel better. I'm worried about becoming "addicted".
This all is just a damn, stupid reminder that I'm getting older. I haven't come to terms with it yet.
28 March 2012
Thoughts on Death
"Let us live so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain
The grandmother of a friend of mine passed away recently, which, as usually happens with an event I am not intimately involved with, allows me the opportunity to reflect and ponder.
Naturally, I thought first of my own parents. My dad is 63 and my mom will turn 60 this summer. For the most part, they are still mobile, active, mostly able to do everything they've always done. I hear reports every so often (mostly from my dad) of high blood pressure, gout, and a sore back, while my mom is plagued every now and then with a migraine.
General old people malaise, you know?
No cancers, operations, strokes, heart attacks, terrible accidents, ad nauseum. And what I realized today is, I'd better enjoy that time with them the very best I can. I live near my parents during a relatively healthy stretch of their existence. I'd better not squander it!
Thinking of my parents' health naturally leads to me thinking of my lifestyle choices. Am I active everyday? Am I doing something with my brain everyday? Am I living every day?
I hope so. I'm trying. After all, when I die, I want even the undertaker to be sorry that I'm going.
The grandmother of a friend of mine passed away recently, which, as usually happens with an event I am not intimately involved with, allows me the opportunity to reflect and ponder.
Naturally, I thought first of my own parents. My dad is 63 and my mom will turn 60 this summer. For the most part, they are still mobile, active, mostly able to do everything they've always done. I hear reports every so often (mostly from my dad) of high blood pressure, gout, and a sore back, while my mom is plagued every now and then with a migraine.
General old people malaise, you know?
No cancers, operations, strokes, heart attacks, terrible accidents, ad nauseum. And what I realized today is, I'd better enjoy that time with them the very best I can. I live near my parents during a relatively healthy stretch of their existence. I'd better not squander it!
Thinking of my parents' health naturally leads to me thinking of my lifestyle choices. Am I active everyday? Am I doing something with my brain everyday? Am I living every day?
I hope so. I'm trying. After all, when I die, I want even the undertaker to be sorry that I'm going.
06 March 2012
More GBNB (Get Better, Not Bitter)
To know more about the meaning about the acronym and phrase above, see this post here.
I have struggled mightily with this concept in the last several days.
First, I frequently have let others frustrate me. And then, I'm like an egg...once I become cracked, even a very little bit, my fragility skyrockets.
Consequently, I've indulged in a little self-scourging because of the above behavior. I know my happiness does not depend on what others do or don't do; I mean, I can't control them...but recently, I've also felt like I can't control my own reaction to them either. And I've really hated feeling this way...like I'm solely sustained by other people, instead of being my own independent person.
So. Today was a bit of a breaking point. I'm thankful that I know people who remind me to step back, rethink, and let it go.
Anyone who spends a fair amount of time here knows how much I love my quotes. So, I'll chuck two up here (probably been used before) that seem to encapsulate a new WYWH mindset.
From Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
From Eleanor Roosevelt:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."*
I'm not going to give my consent anymore when it comes to letting others make me feel inferior. And, I'm going to do what I always do, without any expectation of response, action, or acceptance from somebody else...unless they matter.
(*a website called www.quoteinvestigator.com claims this quote cannot be traced to Roosevelt, with research to prove it. But, the website is maintained by a Garson O'Toole, who has a PhD from Yale in Computer Science. According to the website's "About" section, Dr. O'Toole "diligently seeks the truth about quotations." Remember - anyone can say anything out here on the Internet...so caveat researcher. Let the researcher beware.)
I have struggled mightily with this concept in the last several days.
First, I frequently have let others frustrate me. And then, I'm like an egg...once I become cracked, even a very little bit, my fragility skyrockets.
Consequently, I've indulged in a little self-scourging because of the above behavior. I know my happiness does not depend on what others do or don't do; I mean, I can't control them...but recently, I've also felt like I can't control my own reaction to them either. And I've really hated feeling this way...like I'm solely sustained by other people, instead of being my own independent person.
So. Today was a bit of a breaking point. I'm thankful that I know people who remind me to step back, rethink, and let it go.
Anyone who spends a fair amount of time here knows how much I love my quotes. So, I'll chuck two up here (probably been used before) that seem to encapsulate a new WYWH mindset.
From Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
From Eleanor Roosevelt:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."*
I'm not going to give my consent anymore when it comes to letting others make me feel inferior. And, I'm going to do what I always do, without any expectation of response, action, or acceptance from somebody else...unless they matter.
(*a website called www.quoteinvestigator.com claims this quote cannot be traced to Roosevelt, with research to prove it. But, the website is maintained by a Garson O'Toole, who has a PhD from Yale in Computer Science. According to the website's "About" section, Dr. O'Toole "diligently seeks the truth about quotations." Remember - anyone can say anything out here on the Internet...so caveat researcher. Let the researcher beware.)
04 March 2012
I'm 17 Years For a Moment...
Oh wow. In preparation for the new KING-size bed set that arrives to my house today, I've been cleaning, dusting, and pitching things like mad. I'm not a hoarder by nature, so I thoroughly enjoy the pitching and purging process.
Except, I came across something I will not throw away...because it's just too darn hilarious.
It's a list of 35 goals I made for myself a long time ago...
The date? January 15, 1993. I was four months shy of my eighteenth birthday.
Here's my legend: an asterisk (*) means it's been accomplished. A number sign (#) means I haven't done it yet. A (@) means a fail. Got it?
As they say in New Orleans: Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Let the good times roll!)
1. Move to Oregon (#)
2. Travel overseas (*)
3. Have 3 children (*)
4. Read all 30 banned books on my list (# - it's probably longer now)
5. Graduate from college with little debt to pay (*)
6. Skydive (#)
7. Send my parents on a Caribbean cruise (# - it might just be my mom)
8. Lose virginity (* - heh)
9. Go to all my class reunions (* - so far)
10. Visit at least half of all the US states (#)
11. Get a job with a salary over $25,000 (* - yes, but then I quit)
12. Be a regular on Saturday Night Live (#)
13. Meet Christian Slater (#)
14. Watch a San Francisco 49ers football game in real-life (#)
15. Watch a Los Angeles Dodgers game in real-life (#)
16. Go to the Olympics (#)
17. Whitewater raft (#)
18. Build my own home (#)
19. Have respectful and disciplined children (* - work in progress)
20. Live till I'm 100 (* - working on it)
21. Purchase a mediocre expensive car (* - ha! Obviously I did not know the meaning of 'mediocre')
22. Own a hot tub (#)
23. Weigh 120-125 pounds by graduation (@)
24. Marry a basketball player (* - I did not specify professional or what. Brent played in high school...ACCOMPLISHED)
25. Not get pregnant before college graduation (@ - I was about four months pregs when I graduated from college. Maybe it's a FAIL, but I'm okay with it.)
26. To play professional golf (#...but it's likely to be a @)
27. Get braces (#)
28. Learn a musical instrument (#)
29. Go to a music concert (*)
30. Climb Mt. Everest (#...and I've lost the interest, so @)
31. Grow long hair (* - No specification on length)
32. Act on Broadway (#- See 26)
33. Stand on Mt. Rushmore (# - Must check. I may not be allowed close enough to actually stand on it)
34. Visit all Seven Wonders of the World (# - Did not specify Ancient or Natural or Modern)
35. Meet Jean-Claude Van Damme (# - Ahahahahaahaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaa!)
So, data analysis:
12 out of 35 goals - ACHIEVED
21 out of 35 goals - HAVE NOT YET ACHIEVED
3 out of the previous 21 - HAVE LOST DESIRE TO ACHIEVE
4 out of the previous 21 - HIGHLY UNLIKELY GOAL WILL BE ACHIEVED
2 out of 35 goals - FAIL
I guess now I know what I've got the rest of my life to work on!
Except, I came across something I will not throw away...because it's just too darn hilarious.
It's a list of 35 goals I made for myself a long time ago...
The date? January 15, 1993. I was four months shy of my eighteenth birthday.
Here's my legend: an asterisk (*) means it's been accomplished. A number sign (#) means I haven't done it yet. A (@) means a fail. Got it?
As they say in New Orleans: Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Let the good times roll!)
1. Move to Oregon (#)
2. Travel overseas (*)
3. Have 3 children (*)
4. Read all 30 banned books on my list (# - it's probably longer now)
5. Graduate from college with little debt to pay (*)
6. Skydive (#)
7. Send my parents on a Caribbean cruise (# - it might just be my mom)
8. Lose virginity (* - heh)
9. Go to all my class reunions (* - so far)
10. Visit at least half of all the US states (#)
11. Get a job with a salary over $25,000 (* - yes, but then I quit)
12. Be a regular on Saturday Night Live (#)
13. Meet Christian Slater (#)
14. Watch a San Francisco 49ers football game in real-life (#)
15. Watch a Los Angeles Dodgers game in real-life (#)
16. Go to the Olympics (#)
17. Whitewater raft (#)
18. Build my own home (#)
19. Have respectful and disciplined children (* - work in progress)
20. Live till I'm 100 (* - working on it)
21. Purchase a mediocre expensive car (* - ha! Obviously I did not know the meaning of 'mediocre')
22. Own a hot tub (#)
23. Weigh 120-125 pounds by graduation (@)
24. Marry a basketball player (* - I did not specify professional or what. Brent played in high school...ACCOMPLISHED)
25. Not get pregnant before college graduation (@ - I was about four months pregs when I graduated from college. Maybe it's a FAIL, but I'm okay with it.)
26. To play professional golf (#...but it's likely to be a @)
27. Get braces (#)
28. Learn a musical instrument (#)
29. Go to a music concert (*)
30. Climb Mt. Everest (#...and I've lost the interest, so @)
31. Grow long hair (* - No specification on length)
32. Act on Broadway (#- See 26)
33. Stand on Mt. Rushmore (# - Must check. I may not be allowed close enough to actually stand on it)
34. Visit all Seven Wonders of the World (# - Did not specify Ancient or Natural or Modern)
35. Meet Jean-Claude Van Damme (# - Ahahahahaahaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaa!)
So, data analysis:
12 out of 35 goals - ACHIEVED
21 out of 35 goals - HAVE NOT YET ACHIEVED
3 out of the previous 21 - HAVE LOST DESIRE TO ACHIEVE
4 out of the previous 21 - HIGHLY UNLIKELY GOAL WILL BE ACHIEVED
2 out of 35 goals - FAIL
I guess now I know what I've got the rest of my life to work on!
01 March 2012
The Finale - Dream For the Future
A dream for the future, eh?
Well, it is then this:
I (as well as my husband) am retired (or semi- or pseudo- or not, if I love my job). My children are grown, out of my house, and are living happy and successful adult lives. I'm sure there will be grandchildren at some point for us (although, if not, life will go on).
Due to modern medical advances, we are quite in excellent health for our ages...in fact, a complete physical checkup in the last week (for both of us) turned out extremely satisfactory results. We are on no medications, eat healthy and not to excess, and get some kind of exercise every day.
Because we made good financial choices in our twenties and thirties, we now have some reliable fundage to keep us going well into our nineties and beyond.
And with that, Brent and I purchased ocean-side property on some island in the Aegean Sea. We spend most of our time there, basking in the Grecian sun, eating dried-out octopus and other such local fare (which I cook up in amazing ways). Thanks to my lucrative best-selling novels and cookbooks, we have the money to fly our kids and any grandchildren to Greece every December for Christmas and New Year's.
Not too shabby, eh?
Well, it is then this:
I (as well as my husband) am retired (or semi- or pseudo- or not, if I love my job). My children are grown, out of my house, and are living happy and successful adult lives. I'm sure there will be grandchildren at some point for us (although, if not, life will go on).
Due to modern medical advances, we are quite in excellent health for our ages...in fact, a complete physical checkup in the last week (for both of us) turned out extremely satisfactory results. We are on no medications, eat healthy and not to excess, and get some kind of exercise every day.
Because we made good financial choices in our twenties and thirties, we now have some reliable fundage to keep us going well into our nineties and beyond.
And with that, Brent and I purchased ocean-side property on some island in the Aegean Sea. We spend most of our time there, basking in the Grecian sun, eating dried-out octopus and other such local fare (which I cook up in amazing ways). Thanks to my lucrative best-selling novels and cookbooks, we have the money to fly our kids and any grandchildren to Greece every December for Christmas and New Year's.
Not too shabby, eh?
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