19 March 2008

Chocolate Jesus

Hmmm...there are so many options. I've had a lot on my mind lately, like...

1. Seeking medical attention
2. Return to Paganism
3. Easter gifts and philosophy
4. Home remodeling
5. Energy draining of pointless committees
6. How "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!" is, in fact, a thinly disguised critique of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich.

Well, Chuck, I feel like seeing what's behind Door Number Three. Easter.

OK, you all know me, and how hard it can be for me to celebrate Christian holidays without a vomitous feeling in the back of my throat at the hypocrisy of it all. You all know that I think it's a complete farce that the entire month of December (practically) consists of annoying radio jingles, insane toy advertising, holiday special reruns, potlucks, and fattening sugar cookies - all in the name of celebrating a "man" whose birthday was actually in the spring...nowhere near December 25th.

And on that special day, I'm supposed to forget all the aforementioned items and focus on the "reason for the season". Whatever that is.

Now before I'm labeled a Grinch, I'd like to state that I do not wish to abolish Christmas. Personally, I love Christmas music and Christmas food. I like shopping and Santa and wrapping presents. I concur in my heart of hearts with the Christmas theory of being generous and giving. But, I abhor the veneer of self-righteous of religious fanatics who wave their propaganda at me, asking me to believe in a lie (the previously mentioned "Jesus Came on a Midnight Clear).

You, who know me so well, will know that I can't participate in such hypocrisy without losing my self-respect. And wanting to bake my head in the nearest microwave oven.

And now, Easter. To me, this is the time of the year when we all should be celebrating THE EARTH. The ancients had it right when they took part in festivals welcoming back the Sun God (whom, by the way, is ageless, so there are no raging debates about his birthday). For the Greeks, the Goddess of Agriculture's daughter is returning from Hades...the weather is getting warmer, crocuses are budding, the sun is brighter...I mean, spring is in the air. I feel that happy burst of life that impels me to open my windows, run outside, and listen to the birds in their nests. I mean, it's a time of rebirth and renewal.

It's an uplifting time for me. I'm not really in the mood for a macabre story about the darkness that lurks in the heart of man. You know of whom I speak. Pontius Pilate and his band of nail-drivers. Not to mention Judas, the champion of backstabbers the world over.

But, you know, whatever.

And now, to my real point. We are not getting the kids Easter gifts this year. We've been sporadic about it in the past, and have decided to chuck the whole thing altogether. My husband's reasoning is that the kids receive too many gifts and goodies anyway, so it won't hurt them to miss Easter. Frankly, I'm glad because that means I won't have to buy them damned chocolate bunnies and Cadbury creme eggs that I would just end up scarfing myself anyway. I also won't have to explain the connection between Easter eggs and chocolate and Jesus dying on the cross (Although, this potentially could be cleared up if all candy/chocolate companies began to manufacture Chocolate Jesuses).

But most of all, I'm glad that we've jointly decided to not fall victim to parental peer pressure of getting gifts in commemoration of a holiday that, in general, we're pretty lukewarm about.

Instead, we'll probably just hang out as a family and balance eggs on their ends on Friday (the equinox...seriously, you can really do that). Now, that's something tangible I can celebrate. Balancing eggs, balancing Earth, balancing life...a return to better times.

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