Only when I started typing this out did I realize how much I had to say. I'll post it in two parts so that you don't feel like you're scrolling down the page here forever.
I’ve referenced this book several times in the last few
days, and now that I’ve finished it, I guess I ought to offer a brief review
and analysis.
Honestly, I can’t think of a non-food, non-fiction book that
has made me think as much as this one has.
On page 122, the author, Pamela Druckerman, references a
UNICEF document (abbreviated title: An Overview of Child Well-Being in Rich Countries) in which she declares that in spite of French children consuming
“enormous amounts of formula”, they “beat American kids on nearly all measures
of health”. (For any readers who are
interested, the chart illustrating this statement is on page 14).
Out of 21 developed countries, the United States fell in the
bottom third in four of the six assessed “dimensions” (material well-being,
health and safety, educational well-being, family and peer relationships,
behaviours and risks, and subjective well-being; the US had no data for the
last dimension).
Well, to say the least, I was shocked. The assessment’s stunning results caused me
to wonder, What are we doing wrong?
So, I’m almost halfway through the book, and I've come up with a pretty serious question. Through
Druckerman’s own research and interviews, she sheds a little light on
this important issue. Highlights (for
me) include:
- “Suffering and self-sacrifice” seems to be the expectation
for new American mothers (122). Our
babies sleep with us in the hospital rooms, we feed them on demand, we deprive
ourselves of sleep...whereas French mothers regularly utilize the nurses and the nursery...and
the French babies seem none the worse for the wear. American babies, on the other hand, are well
on their way to becoming used to a life of being waited on by their moms. While we can maybe excuse this pandering at
first because “they’re just babies”, it’s no longer cute when American moms
cave in to their fourteen-year-old’s every whim.
- French parents (moms, especially) strive to “get back their
pre-baby identities”. That is, they don’t wholly become absorbed in their
children. In fact, there’s a “universal
assumption that even good mothers aren’t at the constant service of their
children, and there’s no reason to feel bad about that (130).” I found myself nodding at this statement,
because I wonder how much time I’ve spent “in the service” of my children. And then, my mind begins to dream up all
sorts of crazy questions like, how much
of that time has been ‘quality’? How
much of that time has been waiting for a sports/theatre/choir practice to
end? How much of that time have I been thanked
for?
- And while I’m on that subject, Druckerman relates the story
of a French mother living in Brooklyn (140).
The mother is surprised at how American parents put a lot of stock in
their children’s success at sports, not to mention an obsession with anything that might give
their children an edge in competing (camps, private trainers, elite equipment).
American parents are “constrained” in just every area of their children’s
lives, not just sports.
No comments:
Post a Comment