I teach an advanced freshman composition class and one of the texts I'm using is "Becoming a Critical Thinker" by Vincent Ryan Ruggiero. It's a decent text, for college, I think.
But, the most noteworthy part I've come across so far is the bit titled "Guidelines for Successful Relationships". Okay, so the connection of this to a text about critical thinking is tenuous at best, but suspend your disbelief and read on.
1. Acknowledge other people. This means smile, greet, make eye contact with those around you.
2. Be generous with compliments, stingy with criticism and/or advice.
3. Keep your moods to yourself. I'm sure the author means negative moods. Positive, upbeat moods should be trumpeted, I think.
4. Expect more of yourself and less of others. This seems to dovetail with the highly useful adage "You can't change others, you can only change yourself."
5. Make allowances for differences of opinion.
6. Be sensitive to others' feelings. Stay away from things that insult, ridicule, or humiliate others.
7. Balance talking with listening.
8. Think before speaking. Personally, I think this one could have its own chapter. It's very vague and non-directional. It sounds so easy, and if it were so, wouldn't we all just be doing it? It reminds of the advice of "eat less".
9. Purge negative emotions.
10. Refrain from gossiping.
11. Apologize when you are wrong.
12. Forgive when you are wronged.
13. Be a peacemaker.
14. Meet your responsibilities to others. Do what you say you're going to do.
15. Look for opportunities to be kind.
Wow, huh? Is it even possible? What would someone who did all of these things automatically be like? Somebody I couldn't stand? Somebody I couldn't be comfortable around? Somebody I'd take a bullet for?
See - the bummer here is these above behaviors, I think, are not reinforced much in our society. If you watch 'Desperate Housewives', being nice is not fun, it's not sexy. And, I tell you what, it's hard to do because most of these behaviors were not modeled very well for us.
But, we'll work on it!
So, here's your assignment (channeling Teacher right now!): Which of these are you better at? Which ones do you implement into your daily lives? Which ones do you struggle to master?
29 November 2010
20 October 2010
A Departure...For Now
No, not from Blogstream! 
Silly rabbits - as if you could get rid of me that fast!
A departure in topic, I mean. I did promise I'd talk about something else besides food.
So, let's go with another area where the government has done its fair share of meddling: Education.
It's hard to be a public educator these days. Most of us are well aware of the problems in schools today. It's impossible to be out there on the front line and not be, you know? Consequently, this painful awareness often breeds helplessness, and so, many educators are excellent at passing the buck (myself included at times): it's the administration's fault, parents' fault, the system's fault, the state's fault, the legislators' fault. The Blame Game plays on and on and on...
Most of the time, I try to do the best I can with the resources I am given. Us good teachers want the best for kids, honest, and we are doing everything within our power to make that happen. We spend unpaid hours and uncompensated money over the summer, on the weekends, in the evenings - for our students.
However, when you wear the teacher AND parent hats...clashing of those two worlds is inevitable.
For example, I truly feel the middle school is the time for exploration, for survey, for options. I found out at parent-teacher conferences last week that because Spencer is in orchestra every day, he will have no elective choices for his 6th, 7th, and 8th grade years. No foods, communications, art, FCS - because that's all his schedule allows. That seems so ridiculously limiting to me (parent voice). How will he know what to get into in high school (and later, college, then life?) if he doesn't sample some of those options now? (parent voice)
And yet, I know this scheduling snafu is not done maliciously by the the school - budget cuts last year caused the release of three teachers (educator voice). Counselors and administrators are working within the system the best way they can (educator voice).
But, there's got to be a better way to provide for kids (this is about the only thing my educator and parent voices are agreeing on right now!).
I can pull Spencer out of orchestra (
) or prevent him from taking electives (). Ultimately, my "good parent" skills will come into play (as well they should - but not everyone has them). If I pull him out of orchestra, then I should arrange for private lessons ($) so that he may keep working on his music. If I don't pull him out, I should then provide opportunities outside the school day for him to practice art, foods, etc., which in this day and age is not insurmountable.
Ideally, Spencer should have orchestra every other day and an elective of his choice on the day opposite, but, alas, financial woes do not make that conducive to materializing.
Regardless of whose fault it is, the school is not adequately providing for my son's lifelong learning, so what are my options?
Homeschool?
Silly rabbits - as if you could get rid of me that fast!A departure in topic, I mean. I did promise I'd talk about something else besides food.
So, let's go with another area where the government has done its fair share of meddling: Education.
It's hard to be a public educator these days. Most of us are well aware of the problems in schools today. It's impossible to be out there on the front line and not be, you know? Consequently, this painful awareness often breeds helplessness, and so, many educators are excellent at passing the buck (myself included at times): it's the administration's fault, parents' fault, the system's fault, the state's fault, the legislators' fault. The Blame Game plays on and on and on...
Most of the time, I try to do the best I can with the resources I am given. Us good teachers want the best for kids, honest, and we are doing everything within our power to make that happen. We spend unpaid hours and uncompensated money over the summer, on the weekends, in the evenings - for our students.
However, when you wear the teacher AND parent hats...clashing of those two worlds is inevitable.
For example, I truly feel the middle school is the time for exploration, for survey, for options. I found out at parent-teacher conferences last week that because Spencer is in orchestra every day, he will have no elective choices for his 6th, 7th, and 8th grade years. No foods, communications, art, FCS - because that's all his schedule allows. That seems so ridiculously limiting to me (parent voice). How will he know what to get into in high school (and later, college, then life?) if he doesn't sample some of those options now? (parent voice)
And yet, I know this scheduling snafu is not done maliciously by the the school - budget cuts last year caused the release of three teachers (educator voice). Counselors and administrators are working within the system the best way they can (educator voice).
But, there's got to be a better way to provide for kids (this is about the only thing my educator and parent voices are agreeing on right now!).
I can pull Spencer out of orchestra (
) or prevent him from taking electives (). Ultimately, my "good parent" skills will come into play (as well they should - but not everyone has them). If I pull him out of orchestra, then I should arrange for private lessons ($) so that he may keep working on his music. If I don't pull him out, I should then provide opportunities outside the school day for him to practice art, foods, etc., which in this day and age is not insurmountable.Ideally, Spencer should have orchestra every other day and an elective of his choice on the day opposite, but, alas, financial woes do not make that conducive to materializing.
Regardless of whose fault it is, the school is not adequately providing for my son's lifelong learning, so what are my options?
Homeschool?
20 September 2010
Boy Chases Squirrel
There it is, folks. The meaning of life boiled down to three words. I suppose you want the story now, eh? Well, I've got time... On the first free evening I've had in awhile, I took Elliot (Mr. Six) to the park (his choice). He clambered a bit on the wooden apparatus before he disappeared from my sight. With new book (What To Eat - Marion Nestle) and water bottle in hand, I found a bench closer to the playground to watch him. It isn't soon after that he has abandoned the playground equipment to run around on the green lawn that surrounds the park. He appears to be chasing squirrels. This entertains him for several seconds before he finds a long, slender branch on the ground. I then watch him transform from squirrel hunter to ninja with sword. Several moments pass in this fashion before he becomes enamored of the rickety circle swing - and now he's a human monkey. He wanders closer to me after many minutes, and I ask him what he's doing. He doesn't respond, racing off instead at the sight of another squirrel. And that's when I thought to myself: Yeah, shut up, Mom. We're absolutely stupid if we think we have nothing to learn from children. Here's what I gleaned in these few precious minutes watching my son: 1. More watching and listening. Less talking and lecturing. 2. As parents, we often ask our children "What are you doing?" but how often do we mean it as a question of curiosity? Most of the time, we mean it as a question of reprimand, critique, authority, or anger. 3. Elliot wants to catch a squirrel - so he has to chase one. It's fun. It's adventurous. It's impossible. Fortunately, he doesn't know that yet...but by God, the dream is a good one. And so, I will practice Axiom #1. 4. Mr. Squirrel managed to cross the street during the chase, bringing Elliot back to me. He informs me sagely that even though the squirrel crossed the street, he did not. 5. Children sure got some right ideas when it comes to living decently on this damn planet. Live for the moment, go for your dreams, safety first. Why aren't we taking notes? I hope I never forget these lessons. I hope I always have the wherewithal to tune in when the universe is talking. I hope my kids never get old. | |
05 September 2010
Gem Of The Day!
These words, spoken by poet Rainer Maria Rilke, completely summarize and encapsulate the feeling and meaning behind my last post...and my feelings towards boredom in general. Enjoy!
"If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty."
Heather's Interpretation: If you're bored with your surroundings, it's your own damn fault.
"If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty."
Heather's Interpretation: If you're bored with your surroundings, it's your own damn fault.
03 September 2010
Good Ol' Honest Abe
One of favorite quotes of his:
"People are usually as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Classes at the university I teach at began about a week ago, and this last Wednesday I was asked by a student where I was from. I responded with "Iowa" and then he asked, "what do y'all do here?" I guess I didn't respond quick enough, because he and a few other classmates launched off into a tirade about how "there is nothing to do around here."
I suppose for young adults coming from big urban cities, a small Iowa town (pop. approx. 11,000) is pretty boring. But then. I've always believed everyone has the power to create their own entertainment. That probably explains why many college students get into trouble with alcohol, drugs, or video games the first year in college...too busy creating their own entertainment.
The student in question goes on then to tell me that where's he from, there is so much to do. My guess is that he's used to big shopping malls, stores, nightclubs, hangouts, and other entertainment facilities.
Ruminating about this over a cup of coffee with my husband this morning evoked further thoughts on this.
I think this student's situation (and many other similar ones) are scarily indicative of how independent we humans are NOT. Or, at least, this younger generation.
Exhibit A: With the exception of a small garden that is yielding a decent crop of tomatoes, my family is inadequately prepared to produce our own food. Sure, I can go to the grocery store, make healthy dinners from scratch, bake my own bread, etc...however, I am hard-pressed to know what to do should my town's grocery stores collapse. And not to mention, how would I get them through the winter?
We absolutely depend on these stores, which depends on fossil-fuel-burning transportation, which depend on farmers. Without them, we starve. And my case is probably the rule, rather than the exception.
Exhibit B: Now that we have televisions, computers, cell phones, video games, etc...we don't rely as much on our brains for fun. Why expend the energy to entertain ourselves with a book, crossword puzzle, board game or conversation when we can easily flip on the Wii, xBox, or MacBook?
Back to the student in my class. He has moved here from an area where he had access to all the above things...in addition to cool places to go. Naturally, how can the laid-back, slower paced lifestyle of southeast Iowa compete?
What are the consequences if somewhere along the way, shopping malls, video game stores, arcades, dance clubs, bars, etc. all collapse? How will humans deal with boredom? Will crime increase because there's nothing else to do? Or, will we dig deep down and find that inner resourcefulness that impels us to sit down to a quiet game of Magic with friends?
"People are usually as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Classes at the university I teach at began about a week ago, and this last Wednesday I was asked by a student where I was from. I responded with "Iowa" and then he asked, "what do y'all do here?" I guess I didn't respond quick enough, because he and a few other classmates launched off into a tirade about how "there is nothing to do around here."
I suppose for young adults coming from big urban cities, a small Iowa town (pop. approx. 11,000) is pretty boring. But then. I've always believed everyone has the power to create their own entertainment. That probably explains why many college students get into trouble with alcohol, drugs, or video games the first year in college...too busy creating their own entertainment.
The student in question goes on then to tell me that where's he from, there is so much to do. My guess is that he's used to big shopping malls, stores, nightclubs, hangouts, and other entertainment facilities.
Ruminating about this over a cup of coffee with my husband this morning evoked further thoughts on this.
I think this student's situation (and many other similar ones) are scarily indicative of how independent we humans are NOT. Or, at least, this younger generation.
Exhibit A: With the exception of a small garden that is yielding a decent crop of tomatoes, my family is inadequately prepared to produce our own food. Sure, I can go to the grocery store, make healthy dinners from scratch, bake my own bread, etc...however, I am hard-pressed to know what to do should my town's grocery stores collapse. And not to mention, how would I get them through the winter?
We absolutely depend on these stores, which depends on fossil-fuel-burning transportation, which depend on farmers. Without them, we starve. And my case is probably the rule, rather than the exception.
Exhibit B: Now that we have televisions, computers, cell phones, video games, etc...we don't rely as much on our brains for fun. Why expend the energy to entertain ourselves with a book, crossword puzzle, board game or conversation when we can easily flip on the Wii, xBox, or MacBook?
Back to the student in my class. He has moved here from an area where he had access to all the above things...in addition to cool places to go. Naturally, how can the laid-back, slower paced lifestyle of southeast Iowa compete?
What are the consequences if somewhere along the way, shopping malls, video game stores, arcades, dance clubs, bars, etc. all collapse? How will humans deal with boredom? Will crime increase because there's nothing else to do? Or, will we dig deep down and find that inner resourcefulness that impels us to sit down to a quiet game of Magic with friends?
05 August 2010
Good Enough?
This summer, I haven't read nearly as much as I would have liked, but what I've read has been good.
Right now, I'm working on "Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz. I particularly like the subtitle: How the culture of abundance robs us of satisfaction.
I've just read a particularly interesting section I'd thought I'd share: Maximizers versus Satisficers.
Maximizers are those that do a lot of research/thinking when faced with a choice, whether it be over a new job or a new sweater. Maximizers have very high standards and will agonize over nearly every decision, wondering if they could have found a better deal elsewhere.
Satisficers, on the other hand, don't feel the need to "shop around". They don't worry about the best deal - if they come across an item, situation, etc., that meets their standards and criteria, they take it. It's not that they have lower standards, it's just that they are perfectly content with 'good enough'.
You might read the above descriptions and know which category you mostly fit into. Really, though, no single person is ever an 100% Maximizer or Satisficer...we all have categories in which we maximize or satisfice. Most of the time, Brent and I are satisficers - we make decisions with very little regret. But, Brent is definitely a maximizer when it comes to technology - he will deliberate over those matters intensely. For example, he spent an ardent, agonizing week earlier this summer deciding if he really wanted/needed a BlackBerry. There was much debate and rumination on his part, both internal and external. On the other hand, I'm pretty impulsive, and usually it works out pretty good for me.
However, the author of this book contends that people will be most content if they can fit themselves into the Satisficers category for most decisions. This could mean major personality changes for some people.
Frankly, I think this can lead to some very good questions: What is the best? Why is it so important? What's so wrong with good enough?
Right now, I'm working on "Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz. I particularly like the subtitle: How the culture of abundance robs us of satisfaction.
I've just read a particularly interesting section I'd thought I'd share: Maximizers versus Satisficers.
Maximizers are those that do a lot of research/thinking when faced with a choice, whether it be over a new job or a new sweater. Maximizers have very high standards and will agonize over nearly every decision, wondering if they could have found a better deal elsewhere.
Satisficers, on the other hand, don't feel the need to "shop around". They don't worry about the best deal - if they come across an item, situation, etc., that meets their standards and criteria, they take it. It's not that they have lower standards, it's just that they are perfectly content with 'good enough'.
You might read the above descriptions and know which category you mostly fit into. Really, though, no single person is ever an 100% Maximizer or Satisficer...we all have categories in which we maximize or satisfice. Most of the time, Brent and I are satisficers - we make decisions with very little regret. But, Brent is definitely a maximizer when it comes to technology - he will deliberate over those matters intensely. For example, he spent an ardent, agonizing week earlier this summer deciding if he really wanted/needed a BlackBerry. There was much debate and rumination on his part, both internal and external. On the other hand, I'm pretty impulsive, and usually it works out pretty good for me.
However, the author of this book contends that people will be most content if they can fit themselves into the Satisficers category for most decisions. This could mean major personality changes for some people.
Frankly, I think this can lead to some very good questions: What is the best? Why is it so important? What's so wrong with good enough?
23 June 2010
Letting Go
There's nothing like a flooded basement and its subsequent reorganizing to help one sift through the accumulated crap on one's life.
The entire storage/laundry/husband office area has been in need of cleaning up and cleaning out. Today was the day. Please note the vital statistics:
80 - dollars spent on plastic storage
3 - hours spent on project
Hot Spot #1: Craft Shelving Unit. We had used various items to complete art projects throughout the year...we'd put none of it back in the right spot. Puff balls, styrofoam balls, and paintbrushes were scattered, willy-nilly. The CSU looked as if it had thrown up yarn, pipe cleaners, and glue sticks. Within forty-five minutes, this area was sifted, cleaned, separated and labeled.
Hot Spot #2: Another free-standing shelving unit that could only be described as "Household Potpourri". Light bulbs, painting equipment, the Kirby vacuum attachments, soapmaking items, etc. Again, a half-hour later rendered a much neater, nicer multi-purpose unit. Significant changes here include disposing of the soapmaking materials (a phase I went through about six years ago) and rearranging of the paint roller skeletons/drop cloths/painter's tape.
Hot Spot #3: The huge free-standing, hand-built (by previous owners) shelves which contained most of the crap that had survived the move from Minnesota to Iowa nearly five years ago. Items of interest include:
* Relics from high school and college times (both Brent and I)
* Our wedding unity candle
* Iowa State butt cushions
* Luggage
* Newspapers from significant events like our children's birthdays, September 11, and January 1, 2000.
* Diaries
* Baby books
* Educational materials from student teaching
Now, I am a keeper to a certain extent, but mostly I'm a pitcher. My husband, on the other hand, will keep nearly everything.
He insisted on keeping the entire newspaper from each of our children's births (not a local, small-town rag, I might add here). In the end, I threw out everything but the City/Region section, which included the kids' birth announcement as well as a sampling of the top stories in the area - for posterity's sakes. Then, he disdained the newspapers we'd kept the three or so days after the WTC bombing. Now, these I fought for...and won. I mean, from a journalistic standpoint, the front page headlines were "DISBELIEF" and "TERROR FROM THE SKIES" with tremendous photos of the bombing aftermath...when in history have we ever seen headlines like this?
Eventually, Brent sought refuge elsewhere, especially after I asked (implored/impelled) him to relocate his high school artifacts to a plastic tote (previously stored in a damp cardboard box). I also might have suggested he go through the box and get rid of unnecessaries...I mean, I was just trying to help, why be so touchy?
However, events were in motion; I was on the trash warpath. Math tests I'd kept since college found a new home in the garbage, as did several graduate school booklets. Folders containing schoolwork from high school were pitched. Old picture frames, too. Still, a significant amount of mementos remain, which were then packed into clear plastic totes and labeled appropriately.
In the end, three totally full black garbage made it to the garage, along with roughly ten cardboxes of various size on its way to recycling.
At the end of this very satisfying day, I am reminded of Albert Einstein's Three Rules of Work:
1. Out of clutter find simplicity.
2. From discord find harmony.
3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
So, so, so, so, so true.
The entire storage/laundry/husband office area has been in need of cleaning up and cleaning out. Today was the day. Please note the vital statistics:
80 - dollars spent on plastic storage
3 - hours spent on project
Hot Spot #1: Craft Shelving Unit. We had used various items to complete art projects throughout the year...we'd put none of it back in the right spot. Puff balls, styrofoam balls, and paintbrushes were scattered, willy-nilly. The CSU looked as if it had thrown up yarn, pipe cleaners, and glue sticks. Within forty-five minutes, this area was sifted, cleaned, separated and labeled.
Hot Spot #2: Another free-standing shelving unit that could only be described as "Household Potpourri". Light bulbs, painting equipment, the Kirby vacuum attachments, soapmaking items, etc. Again, a half-hour later rendered a much neater, nicer multi-purpose unit. Significant changes here include disposing of the soapmaking materials (a phase I went through about six years ago) and rearranging of the paint roller skeletons/drop cloths/painter's tape.
Hot Spot #3: The huge free-standing, hand-built (by previous owners) shelves which contained most of the crap that had survived the move from Minnesota to Iowa nearly five years ago. Items of interest include:
* Relics from high school and college times (both Brent and I)
* Our wedding unity candle
* Iowa State butt cushions
* Luggage
* Newspapers from significant events like our children's birthdays, September 11, and January 1, 2000.
* Diaries
* Baby books
* Educational materials from student teaching
Now, I am a keeper to a certain extent, but mostly I'm a pitcher. My husband, on the other hand, will keep nearly everything.
He insisted on keeping the entire newspaper from each of our children's births (not a local, small-town rag, I might add here). In the end, I threw out everything but the City/Region section, which included the kids' birth announcement as well as a sampling of the top stories in the area - for posterity's sakes. Then, he disdained the newspapers we'd kept the three or so days after the WTC bombing. Now, these I fought for...and won. I mean, from a journalistic standpoint, the front page headlines were "DISBELIEF" and "TERROR FROM THE SKIES" with tremendous photos of the bombing aftermath...when in history have we ever seen headlines like this?
Eventually, Brent sought refuge elsewhere, especially after I asked (implored/impelled) him to relocate his high school artifacts to a plastic tote (previously stored in a damp cardboard box). I also might have suggested he go through the box and get rid of unnecessaries...I mean, I was just trying to help, why be so touchy?
However, events were in motion; I was on the trash warpath. Math tests I'd kept since college found a new home in the garbage, as did several graduate school booklets. Folders containing schoolwork from high school were pitched. Old picture frames, too. Still, a significant amount of mementos remain, which were then packed into clear plastic totes and labeled appropriately.
In the end, three totally full black garbage made it to the garage, along with roughly ten cardboxes of various size on its way to recycling.
At the end of this very satisfying day, I am reminded of Albert Einstein's Three Rules of Work:
1. Out of clutter find simplicity.
2. From discord find harmony.
3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
So, so, so, so, so true.
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