Dear Earth...

This is your mother speaking.

This message is for the children primarily within the Western-Northern Hemisphere section. America, that's basically you.

I understand that you are not very appreciative of the several inches of snow I sent your way this past weekend.

Why is this? You always complain about not having a White Christmas, so I tried to oblige this year. (Damned that Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby anyway.)

And, if my spies inform me correctly, you have a heap of charges to lay at my feet, including:

1. Ruining countless birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, and graduation commencement exercises.

2. Forcing many families to "hunker down" in the warmth and safety of their houses.

2.5 Forcing same families to wear pajamas all day long and eat lots of food and watch a lot of television.

3. Preventing thousands from finishing up their holiday shopping at those places called malls (Ha! When will any of you shop for me? I'd like a mended ozone layer, please.)

4. Forced hundreds of males to rev up their snowblowers...or worse yet, dig out their shovels.

5. Forcing thousands of children out into dangerous conditions to go sledding or build snowmen.

Have I missed anything, kids? Ruined, forced, prevented, impelled, did I? That is the pot calling the kettle black, methinks. What do you think you do to me on a daily basis?

Apparently, children, you missed the point: It's good to stay home, not spend money, wear comfortable clothing, and get fresh air.

Learn it. Love it. Know it.

That is all for now,
The Great Mother

Gem #1

I have figured something out!

For a college class I teach, we are reading the non-fiction work "No Impact Man" by Colin Beavan. Essentially, Beavan (and wife and child) go "off the grid" for a year, trying to live a year of low-to-no impact on the environment. Naturally in a book like this, lots of environmental issues are discussed, but I am pleased at how many spiritual and psychological issues are illuminated as well.

A motif that runs throughout the book is the question: How do we not feel so hopeless? How do we not feel like we're swimming upstream most of the time?

I really like the answer of Mark Vonnegut (son of late Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.) - "We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."

If I may modify Mr. Vonnegut's words a little, I'd also add that we can prevent feeling hopeless by creating our own high points, our own special moments. We give ourselves something to look forward to, instead of just waiting for it to happen.

Life is monotonous, no doubt about it. But isn't it a little more bearable when you schedule tea with a friend? Supper and card games with friends? Ice cream with family? A romantic overnight stay at a bed-and-breakfast with a lover? A fact-finding trip to the library with children? A walk around the block?

Our family (my mother and father included) is about 98% positive that we are flying to Alaska this summer to visit my brother, who's in the Air Force there. My dad, enthusiastic in the beginning, has begun already to balk at the ordering of plane tickets. Yes, it's expensive, but with a little tightening up of the purse strings, it's manageable. That's why we're booking so early - to save up.

I am looking forward to the trip in so many ways, and I can't fathom why my dad is reacting the opposite. He's not a fan of flying and he'll definitely experience some discomfort at being so far home from home for ten days, but really? A trip to Alaska? A place he and my mom will never visit again in their lifetimes? To see his only son?

I mean, seriously, if he can't get himself together enough for a super-special trip like this...what else in his life is worth getting out of bed for?

See, back to Mark Vonnegut...it's this trip and the people I'm traveling and visiting with that helps me get through this thing, whatever it is. It's what will keep me going when I get bogged down by schoolwork or naughty children or grouchy husband or life in general this winter - that I have something cool to look forward to.

And, while I'm anticipating, I try to make the best out of the days in between here and there. And just try to get through this thing.

Whatever it is.

Scarf!

I attended a writers' group meeting at the public library tonight. Kind of on a whim, kind of in response to a parent who mentioned it to me in passing last week. It's a very informal thing. Small group. I guess everyone in the group has ongoing projects that they are working on. The leader had two prompts for us: 1. Write a 20 line poem about a favorite piece of clothing. OR 2. Write an accidental interaction between you and your favorite fictional character. I started with #1, finished it, and started #2. I didn't finish, but I most certainly will. I'm really very poor at writing poetry, so why not climb that mountain first?

SCARF

For Kerri

Winter, beware.
I have now donned my scarf.
What are mittens and hat?
Nothing, compared to a warm neck.
I'd wear my scarf in the summer,
 if I could with comfort.
A birthday present from a crafty friend,
 a hand-knitted rainbow of subtle colors.
Tasselly fringes dangle at the ends.
Is it wrong to want to worship a piece of clothing?
I loop it in a complex knot
 and feel very cosmopolitan
 in this small town.
My daughter asks to borrow it,
 and I, like a cat, hiss 'No'.
She's only nine.
 She'll lose it or rip it or stain it or
(God forbid) stretch it.
But, one day, if she's nice to her mom,
she may receive it as a family heirloom.


Cheers!

After One Week Of Examination...

I am trying to look for the good in people/things for the entire month of December, and I am here to tell you that it is difficult stuff. I'm online a lot and everywhere I'd go was news of international tensions, murder, sabotage, disloyalty, infidelity. It is enough to make one feel desperately hopeless.

However, one week is enough time to provide one nugget of knowledge (well, maybe two):

1. While people are usually the ones destroying this world, it is filled also with people committing selfless acts of sacrifice and kindness.

2. The farther one travels from a central community, the more destructive people seem to get. Naturally, there are anomalies, but I'm finding the further removed people are from a community, the less impelled they feel to "do the right thing". From here on out, I will refer to this as Nelson's Law of Proximity or Nelson's First Law.

To me and mine, this means we will feel the most content and satisfied if we stay close to home and stay local. I don't mean to ignore world affairs (although for my own sanity, maybe I should) or shut myself off from the rest of the world. But, if I have a problem with education or politics or our culture, I should start small.

Quote Time! Because you know I love them!

William H. Johnsen reminds us, "If it's to be, it's up to me." And I think maybe I love Theodore Roosevelt's words the best, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

So, does this mean I should not donate monies and assistance to Haiti, Kenya, Africa, or another place in dire straits? Yes, for now. Because I believe that when I fix myself and those around me, the effects will begin to ripple out to others. How I can fix other countries, other peoples when there are so many in need right in my own hometown?

Rough Start To A Month Of Positivity

Today is December 1st. Remember that I proposed to blog about nothing but positive, life-affirming things?

Looking like a test of mettle on Day One.

I shouted, yelled, shrieked - very loudly - at my oldest son this morning. I had asked him to unload the dishwasher (his daily chore) this morning. Ten minutes later, it still hadn't been unloaded, and he was downstairs, currently in the process of aggravating his younger siblings.

So, yeah, I cut loose with, "Spencer! Get up here and unload this dishwasher. NOW!"

By golly, then, he moved pretty quickly.

I suppose there are a thousand more positive ways I should have handled the situation. I could have pleaded, begged, cajoled, joked...but no, I opted for a good ol' scream down.



I realize that I have no positive mantra for the month. I have no techniques, no strategies to bring forth the positive thoughts. But here's something I'm going to keep in mind:

Number 9 on Monday's post is: Purge Negative Thoughts. This seems insurmountable, and maybe even unnatural. Any Taoist will tell you can't have the good without the bad, the light without the dark...and the same is true for positive and negative.

So, I think I'll be focusing less on the purging, and more on the doing - because I think it's what we do when we have that negative emotion that counts more than anything.

For example, this morning, the negative emotion I experienced was irritation and annoyance. Those things are hard to purge. But, how did I react? By screaming. Bad reaction.

In short, natural emotion, unnatural reaction. I think I know where I should channel my energies!

College Textbook Contains Valuable Life Information!

I teach an advanced freshman composition class and one of the texts I'm using is "Becoming a Critical Thinker" by Vincent Ryan Ruggiero. It's a decent text, for college, I think.

But, the most noteworthy part I've come across so far is the bit titled "Guidelines for Successful Relationships". Okay, so the connection of this to a text about critical thinking is tenuous at best, but suspend your disbelief and read on.

1. Acknowledge other people. This means smile, greet, make eye contact with those around you.

2. Be generous with compliments, stingy with criticism and/or advice.

3. Keep your moods to yourself. I'm sure the author means negative moods. Positive, upbeat moods should be trumpeted, I think.

4. Expect more of yourself and less of others. This seems to dovetail with the highly useful adage "You can't change others, you can only change yourself."

5. Make allowances for differences of opinion.

6. Be sensitive to others' feelings. Stay away from things that insult, ridicule, or humiliate others.

7. Balance talking with listening.

8. Think before speaking. Personally, I think this one could have its own chapter. It's very vague and non-directional. It sounds so easy, and if it were so, wouldn't we all just be doing it? It reminds of the advice of "eat less".

9. Purge negative emotions.

10. Refrain from gossiping.

11. Apologize when you are wrong.

12. Forgive when you are wronged.

13. Be a peacemaker.

14. Meet your responsibilities to others. Do what you say you're going to do.

15. Look for opportunities to be kind.

Wow, huh? Is it even possible? What would someone who did all of these things automatically be like? Somebody I couldn't stand? Somebody I couldn't be comfortable around? Somebody I'd take a bullet for?

See - the bummer here is these above behaviors, I think, are not reinforced much in our society. If you watch 'Desperate Housewives', being nice is not fun, it's not sexy. And, I tell you what, it's hard to do because most of these behaviors were not modeled very well for us.

But, we'll work on it!

So, here's your assignment (channeling Teacher right now!): Which of these are you better at? Which ones do you implement into your daily lives? Which ones do you struggle to master?

A Departure...For Now

No, not from Blogstream! Silly rabbits - as if you could get rid of me that fast!

A departure in topic, I mean. I did promise I'd talk about something else besides food.

So, let's go with another area where the government has done its fair share of meddling: Education.

It's hard to be a public educator these days. Most of us are well aware of the problems in schools today. It's impossible to be out there on the front line and not be, you know? Consequently, this painful awareness often breeds helplessness, and so, many educators are excellent at passing the buck (myself included at times): it's the administration's fault, parents' fault, the system's fault, the state's fault, the legislators' fault. The Blame Game plays on and on and on...

Most of the time, I try to do the best I can with the resources I am given. Us good teachers want the best for kids, honest, and we are doing everything within our power to make that happen. We spend unpaid hours and uncompensated money over the summer, on the weekends, in the evenings - for our students.

However, when you wear the teacher AND parent hats...clashing of those two worlds is inevitable.

For example, I truly feel the middle school is the time for exploration, for survey, for options. I found out at parent-teacher conferences last week that because Spencer is in orchestra every day, he will have no elective choices for his 6th, 7th, and 8th grade years. No foods, communications, art, FCS - because that's all his schedule allows. That seems so ridiculously limiting to me (parent voice). How will he know what to get into in high school (and later, college, then life?) if he doesn't sample some of those options now? (parent voice)

And yet, I know this scheduling snafu is not done maliciously by the the school - budget cuts last year caused the release of three teachers (educator voice). Counselors and administrators are working within the system the best way they can (educator voice).

But, there's got to be a better way to provide for kids (this is about the only thing my educator and parent voices are agreeing on right now!).

I can pull Spencer out of orchestra () or prevent him from taking electives (). Ultimately, my "good parent" skills will come into play (as well they should - but not everyone has them). If I pull him out of orchestra, then I should arrange for private lessons ($) so that he may keep working on his music. If I don't pull him out, I should then provide opportunities outside the school day for him to practice art, foods, etc., which in this day and age is not insurmountable.

Ideally, Spencer should have orchestra every other day and an elective of his choice on the day opposite, but, alas, financial woes do not make that conducive to materializing.

Regardless of whose fault it is, the school is not adequately providing for my son's lifelong learning, so what are my options?

Homeschool?